Here they are, in no particular order:
1. Woman on train speaking on her cell phone on speaker mode
2. Woman on chair with steam coming out of her head
3. Expat kids dry humping in public
4. Man dies on public bus
(Drumroll)
The answer is: they are all true incidents. First, let us take the idiotic woman. She walks into the train, takes off her open-toed shoes (say 2-inch heels), puts her bags down, leans on the door. Proceeds to extract her phone from her dumpy handbag (I love when personalities and accessories match), dials a number, puts it on speaker and converses. After suppressing several cruel impulses from just verbal to justly lethal, I simply said "please turn off your speaker phone". She gave a surprised whimper, and sheepishly did as directed. CY 1, morons 0.
Next - and this is true - I did see a woman with steam coming out of her head. Well, technically, it was from the large lampshade-like thing that covered her large, lampshade-like head, as I walked past a "beautification" place. The things women do. If only my love interests proved themselves by denaturing their hair, I will definitely propose right away. To all 21 of them. Hey, how many people can really tell a cubic zirconium?
Then we have the expat kids (presumably - it looked like the uniform of an international school) outside Somerset MRT station. The couple was perfectly positioned to reproduce, she sitting at the right height, legs ajar. But unfortunately a few layers of clothing prevented the divine act from occurring. I was about to become a devotee - virgin birth just doesn't cut it. Well, at the very least it would have been entertaining. Possibly even educational - kids these days, with their "skateboarding", "hip hop" and "portable music devices".
Finally, never ever make the mistake of entering a public bus at "prime time". The Little Nyonya will kill you, the bloody wench. Why are kids in the US producing almost commercial-grade movies with handycams, while Singapore soaps manage to be so amateurish - lights, camera and inaction, and the buses then blare them from well cocooned LCD panels with no buttons in sight. In this case, I suppose nobody died. But deep inside, a part of me did. Sniff.
6 comments:
yes. and it frustrates me that there is no plug to pull.
But the one on the woman sitting at the hair salon.... HAHAHAHAHAH! I remember the ONE time I put in blonde streaks into my hair, my whole head was steaming too. And smelling of bleach for that matter.
The experience was never repeated. ;)
~div
CY... there's a brilliant new invention called noise cancelling head phones.
Plug them into your MP3 player and listen to something else. Little Nonya won't kill you anymore.
~div
DD, have you tried them? They only cancel out "white noise". So they are great to drown out the aircon buzz at home/work or engine noise on a plane. But this ironically only serves to make non-white noise - i.e. music, conversation etc - clearer, if slightly softer.
Anyway, as a manly man, I refuse to let a battery operated device anywhere near a bodily orifice.
And, frankly, foam earplugs do a great job of cutting down white noise for much cheaper.
i respectfully disagree with you O manly man. try the in-ear earplugs which i bought- a worthwhile investment! i can't hear anything! including traffic. but a broken bone here and there is a small sacrifice, if it blocks out chatty mcgasbags and mobile phone boomboxes.
ps: then you don't carry mobile phone ah. last time i heard, it was a battery operated device teeheehee!
:) MHD... how can you tahan sticking foreign objects into your ear!
I tried that and nearly ripped my ear out in irritation.
So its headphones for me. I don't care if they look "Obiang".
;)
MHD, CY is telepathic. Messages are transmitted directly to his brain. So he can exist without a mobile phone. :P
CY, I don't use noise canceling headphones. My 'traveling' music is usually cheesy pop-rock or heavy/goth metal (depending on the mood). It drowns out all noise, white or otherwise.
~div
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