Scenes from the concert

Recently, I sharpened my cultural talons by attending a splendid concert by the Singapore Symphony Orchestra at the Esplanade. Led by conductor Lan Shui, it featured several pieces centered on Spain. Predictably, Bolero was performed; so was a piece called Espan~a, which I knew, but never by name.

The female companions had a spirited discussion afterward about star pianist Noriko Ogawa's outfit, which had they bothered asking me, I would have given short shrift with just one word: sexy. Just as well they didn't.

Around intermission, when the lights were brightened, we spied on the seat in front what seemed to be an escaped badger, large squirrel or perhaps a soft toy. No - it was a lady, with very bad hair, and a very bouffant fur jacket parked next to her. Yes! Fur! I know it gets cold indoor often in Singapore, but FUR? In the second half of the concert she wore it. It was sleevless, and given her bad hair, I kept thinking: "Badger Woman". She just needed a spear, bad teeth (which she may have had anyway) and a set from the Pleistocene. It's a miracle I did not wake up shrieking in fear that night.

Then there were the rather cute and leggy French women - ah! the French!! - next to me. Post interval we switched seats, and the unfortunate guy that took mine fumed that the two women ("French bimbos", he called them), getting bored at the lengthy piece called Iberia or something, started chatting, and discussing - of all things - "Rihanna", who I take it is some popular skank singing "R&B".

This was followed by a nice rooftop dinner. By nice, I mean horrible food, horrible service - our group decided not to pay service charge - but a nice view of the Singapore skyline. I don't care what hungrygowhere says, but "Al Dente Trattoria" at the Esplanade is best avoided. Esecially if it has women in low-slung jeans showing off thongs. Not cool.

On the bright side, the red wine interacted pleasantly with my cough medication, and I slept like a baby. No badger-woman nightmares.