As you know reader, I am forever thirsty for knowledge. Today, let me
impart some nuggets. Or are they drops? Dribbles? No matter.
- Humans are born musical. I know this because, when the first bloody bassinet starts wailing, all six others will spontaneously join, I believe in perfect pitch. Especially at 30,000 feet.
- I can solve the world's water problem. No sooner had I landed in India, than I spontaneously started generating water. From every pore. It would not be stopped. It's a miracle, I tell you.
- There is no limit to the number of Indian men that can get into or onto a tractor. Especially on highways. If only tractors could fly...
- My nose - *my aquiline nose* - is crooked. Twice over. This from a professional "facial surgeon".
- Never travel with crazy women.
- In the deep South of India, dosas disappoint.
- Men think of sex every 6 seconds. Even in divine presence.
- Sex may sell, but the blighted home shopping network probably sells more. A minute into it, I believe I had already bought a chapati maker; then a magnetic belt; then a fat-reduction girdle; finally some knives, just in case I decide to become Jason or Freddie. I felt guilty, so I surfed all the religious channels in a spate of unbiased and indiscriminate penitance. I wonder if India has enough TV channels...
Sent from my iPhone
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