Baby achtung

In a moment of carelessness, I booked myself into "death row". I do not mean it in that curious American parlance, meaning inmates waiting for their death sentence to catch up with them one fine day. No, I mean the row directly behind the "hell row", also known as the "bassinet row", in an aircraft.

I am being too cruel. This time there was only one little tot, chaperoned by a rather comely (ahem) mom, the domestic help and a useless dad who wore a T-shirt that said on its back something like "Juicy hot dogs, beef jerky, tender burgers, super steaks" etc. , but was later found ordering the vegetarian meal option. Go figure.

Anyway, is it not amazing that at maybe 2 years, you are (just barely) capable of walking, make sounds that put you on par with small mammals, and yet you have three full grown adults doting on you. A full two of them women!! Not to mention the flight attendants hovering constantly - you'd think Dr. House was cutting somebody open in an emergency procedure to vent his misanthropy, but no, it's just "Is the water warm enough?", "Is the food mushy enough?", "Are the platic toys bisphenol free?" etc. I think I would be VERY embarassed if I were the mom, but this one was taking it all in stride. Unlike the bitch I have described previously, this one was nice to everyone, but, in my honorable opinion, did not show sufficient embarassment or contrition for soaking up all that attention with her little one.

Finally, the kid herself was a toothy-smiley sweetheart, so all is forgiven. This time. Growl.

Side note: I still have not settled the debate on whether Singapore Airlines stewardesses wear anything underneath their sarong-kebayas. It started with my room mate in high school insisting they do not, and continues to this day with my good friend, who insists the same. I am fascinated by how they magically produce writing implements out of their blouses.  How come the plastic holder thingy of the ballpoint pens never sticks outside? Do they have a special inner lining? Is there a row of pens hidden away in there? What else do they have? Sandwiches? A nun-chuk? A cocktail shaker? Maybe a defibrillator? Oh, so many mysteries and so short a life.

PS: Achtung of course means Attention in German.