Aunty-social

Our esteemed colleagues in the news industry have, yet again, showed us they are not only retards, but are really serving us "olds". They have revealed what we always knew - people with lots of friends on Facebook, constantly posting pictures, tagging themselves, etc are more likely to be anti-social narcissists. The article is here, and if you google, you get more such views. 

Wake up, news people! We already hated our friends for posting endless barrages of often self-congratulatory crap and in the process making their friends miserable. This article from some time ago noted that such "friends" accomplished this - though as a person with a decent level of self-esteem I do not buy that - by always prattling (only) about all the great things they do, places they visit, just how wonderful life is etc. 

But as I "researched" this topic I realized there are some among us (ahem!) who are way cooler and bucking all these trends. 

First, let us talk about the antisocial networker, which I was for a considerable period of time. In the early days of FB, it was hard to say no to friend requests and many of us took on too many "friends" and over time getting tired and disillusioned, did not bother to actually "network". Eventually, many, including me started pruning friends like they were overgrown poison ivy. (The actual plant, not Uma Thurman, who can grow over me as much as she wants).

The irony is that, if prolific Facebook users are anti-social, then the parsimonious are anti-anti-social. Ergo by anti-social networking, I must have become "social". Bingo!

Despite practicing anti-social networking for a while, I still was spending too much time checking status messages etc.  The main personality disorder this showed in me is that I had no life.  I was so bored that anytime I was free - say between breaths - I would whip out the smartphone and look at what was happening, only to be immediately and throughly disgusted - at myself. 

So eventually I deactivated my account. Life, unsurprisingly, goes on.

Speaking of bad networking and aunties:

One evening, during the cricket world cup in 2011, I was at a bar drinking orange juice and spending time with fellow middle-aged men. I stepped out with one to a balcony where a number of young women were sitting around. I would not say that we were inveigling ourselves into conversation with them, but we were just enjoying being near nubile youth. At one point, a girl said something funny (possibly insulting) to one of her friends and we could not help but laugh. She then turned to her friend and said "see, even the uncle is laughing". My poor friend, all the blood drained off his face. (If you don't get the reference - it was an Indian restaurant and almost all present were Subcontinentals, whose default honorific for anyone older than 21 is uncle or aunty.)

That is when I realized that at my age, the only women I am allowed to fraternize with in a lascivious manner are my counterparts. 

You've been warned.