On pointless activities

This post sure will be flame bait. Recently I was discussing activities with like-minded sloths. Er, I mean friends. Here is the last word on some:

Hiking: hiking is a fancy name for a walk, people. Wearing funny hats, shoes and cargo pants that can hold an A380 (in several pieces of course) does not make it anything more.

Birdwatching: see hiking above. Adding binoculars to the mix does not make it any cooler. If you really want to live on the wild side, try this.

Jogging: a glorified survival skill that was very important when man did not have guns and had to run from saber-toothed tigers.

Camping: if I wanted to eat charred meat while swatting flies in the dark, I would go to a bad summer barbecue. As for singing around a campfire, please note that we have invented the gun. Kumba you.

Golf: think Geico cavemen hunting prairie dogs with titanium clubs (Haha, clever pun).

Wine appreciation: there are only three qualifiers for wine - bad, good and drunk. Both you and it prefer the last one but would settle for the second. Stop pretending.

Grave rubbing: are you trying to date Wednesday?

Gaming: please watch South Park, episode 147.

Reenactment (historical): I shudder to think what happens in your bedroom.

For an incomplete list of other pointless activities click here.