Weird Science

Apparently badgers are the vile criminals responsible for spreading TB among cows in England. Science chief urges badger cull. Fascinating excerpt:

"The Independent Scientific Group found that targeting one site would only cause badgers to flee to other farms."

Ah. Yes. I wonder what exactly is the culling mechanism - not death by noisy shotguns, by any chance? Why on earth do they insist on fleeing? It escapes me. I am no scientific bigwig.

Aside from that little nit, I would like to bring your attention to much weightier topics.

1. When did cows sign up for TB? TB used to be the sole realm of the dying romantic in Bollywood movies. Are you drunk, heartbroken and tormented by a hacking cough? You have TB. (As an aside, all nosebleeds were "blood cancer"). First immigrants, now cows - where will it stop? Usurpers. We must take back TB.

2. What the heck are badgers doing carrying TB around? Granted they look like cute little monsters, but smuggling? What else are they transporting? Feral, underground traffickers. I bet they have a tunnel all the way to Pyong Yang. Perhaps they are stealing the brains of the scientific bigwigs and giving them to the cows. Say, that would explain all that Mad Cow stuff.

News these days, like raw sewage, is dangerous, my friends. Tune in daily for the filtered and safe version. You are welcome.