More French: A is for...

I once worked with a "job manager" who I shall call P__. I thought this was a great guy, until I he started turning up to work in shabby clothes, yet managed to retain gravitas and even impress people, particularly by pondering a lot on the wine list before ordering something. He was beady eyed and I am convinced he had no clue what he was doing. FYI, I don't like him.

Anyway, part of his pretentiousness was his mastery of French, by virtue of an exchange program when the locals were no doubt sneering at him behind his back. But thanks to him I learnt some important French lessons.

"A"

You may be shocked by this, but anything that ends in "er" in French is pronounced "ay". For example, take the simple word in English "her". This of course will be pronounced "hay". But note that the "h" is silent - to frustrate the English, the French decided that "g" would be pronounced "h". Anyway, therefore, "her" is pronounced "ay". Since the "y" is silent (unless used in the context of Yves St. Laurent, which sounds like a porno magazine to me):

Her = "A"

There you have it. You are now off to an excellent start in French. I know this is a lot to digest, but let me just also add that if you have the right teacher (such as the humble me), it is all easy, so here are some added pointers for you to sleep over and have nightmares on:

Bonjour = "B"
Si vou plait = "C"

Please let me know if this is too much, say for the next week, and I will go easy on the pace.

Meantime, please bone up on your wines, because I may just address that next. "B".