Mega(lo)mania

I am sure I am born for bigger things. It is my telos. I learned that word in a philosophy book. With a twist - it is an explanation of philosophy using jokes. This is the only way I can fit Plato sound-bytes en mi vida. The book is called "Plato and a platypus walk into a bar..."

(Pet peeve: seen at CHIJMES: "La Viva". For fuck's sake, that makes no sense. Viva is the subjunctive of "vivir", I.e. to live. La Vida makes sense. Calling Dr. Semantic Kerkorian)

Anyway, I believe I am a holy man. Specifically a lama. This explains my inevitable attraction to places of Buddhist traditions. So, I have decided to go to Dharamsala. For heaven's sake, Richard "Gerbil" Gere and Steve "Runs like a sissy" Segal claim to be lamas. Here I predict the conversation at Dharamsala.

Me: Let me in I think I am the next Dalai Lama

Ashram Bouncer: not unless you are haploid; the current one is very alive.

Me: ok, I am THE lama, you know the one that saves mankind

AB: sorry, wrong religion (Mehdi, Jesus Returns, Kalki - great theme for Celebrity Deathmatch)

Me: ok, maybe - just maybe - I am A lama

AB: getting close

Me: Knew it. I will buy a clue for 10 chais and half my karma points. I will throw in this bong with some leftover charas that I stole from the naked yogi.

AB: You may be related.

Me: Bingo. Am I, like, y'know, a cousin?

AB: Getting close. I'll give you a free "L".

Me: Related to "llama"?

AB: Om mani padme hum. You are an ass.



On second thoughts, I will go to Manali.