Today, I narrowly missed Hillary C____, wife of former president of the USA, Bill C____. Rumor had it that she was to stay at my hotel, but she only dined at the famour restaurant. Sorry for the cloak-and-dagger, I wish I could tell you who I am talking about. I was to dine at the restaurant, but since I am on the Secret Service watch list, I flipped channels in my room instead.
- Julia Roberts in the "condom scene" from Pretty Woman. I want to be reincarnated as an animal with a glossy hide, just so I can be her boots.
- Flamingoes shot (by a camera) from the "rear angle". It took me a while to realize that was not cotton candy doing strange things in a pond.
- Two Indian guys shooting through doorway. Very strange scene.
- Michael Jackson video. Very strange scene.
- Two cobras mating (or perhaps there were more). Very disturbing scene.
- Fashion TV. Instant high.
- Friends. Aaargh.
What is it with "Friends"? I have old friends that get misty eyed and say things like "I still watch it", or "It is the best sitcom ever". Surprisingly, these people have managed to move on in life, get a spouse, children, dogs, lawnmowers, wine coolers, membership to the PTA, hairplugs, possibly little blue pills and they constantly dispense patriarchical/matriarchical pearls of wisdom about my degenerate and immature ways. No wonder I ran away from home at 15... sorry, I am confusing my life with "Huckleberry Finn". That does make sense, given my favorite Simpsons character is Nelson. HA-ha.
I wish I had one of those giganto screens, so that I can watch ALL of the above, and the approximately 47 other channels showing "cricket", which is "played" by human beings formerly known as "alive".
Then I can truly live up to the classic Louis Armstrong soundtracks: What a Wonderful World and La Vie En Rose. Welcome to India.
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