Manly man...NOT

I write this with a heavy heart and a drastic loss of self-esteem: I am not a real man.

I know this because "Real Men do Bikram Yoga". I don't. An anachronism in this age of synthetic life, I just do women - at least in theory.

I reach this watershed conclusion due to a large poster seen at almost everywhere in Singapore, with calm, sincere looking men from all walks of life, titled "Real Men do Bikram Yoga". No doubt shot by a sincere photographer and an impeccably honest and trustworthy advertising company. Here is the only picture I could find, though it is not the much more evocative one I have seen:

Now that I have admitted that I am not a real man, unlike the ones pictured here, I have several questions:

1. When did Bikram come out of the closet? Does Mr. Yoga Senior know, and does he have any comments?

2. Do all the real men do the same Bikram? If so, just how many times does he get done, say in the average yoga session? How does he handle the crush of real men? Is there a token system? Does Bikram serve multiple real men simultaneously?

3. Assuming there is more than one Bikram, is there a choice of Bikrams, from the Punjabi Vicky to the Bong Bikram? Could there possibly also be non-Indian Bikrams?

4. What will be the ideal number of Bikrams to satisfy all the real men in, say, Singapore, who do him for 1 hour per session, 3 times per week? A lucrative management consulting job awaits anyone who can successfully answer this case question. I promise.

As I mope, I will no doubt come up with more questions. Watch this space. Also, please help my time-machine project so I can go back to the Stone Age, where I could potentially do women, possibly multiple women, and feel good about it. Every cent counts!