Beware the Internet

Today, as part of my demoralizing search for terrestrial intelligence (let's cross this one first before trying the SETI project), I came across more evidence for the lack of it.

Usually I would post a link, but this time I am pasting an entire chunk, "borrowed" from Wikihow. Read and weep! My comments in orange.

How to Vomit Successfully from a Moving Car While Drunk (from Wikihow)

When you're drunk, the last place you want to vomit is in the car. Using a window can create a more positive environment for vomiting. (it is of course too late to use common sense)

Steps

1. Alert everyone in the car that you're feeling sick. ("i'm gonna throw up")
2. If they tell you that you are almost there and to hold on, make them aware that you don't have much more time. ("i'm gonna throw up on you")
3. Ask the driver to pull over. ("this is a throw up! stop the car")
4. Bring the window of the car down fully. (but not so fully that your friends can kick you out. i know i would)
5. Lean your head out, but not too much as you do not want to get hit by an on-coming car. Make sure to direct the vomit either down or backwards. Puking forwards at high speeds creates a spraying phenomenon which can make matters much worse. (unless you have a video camera and a fast connection to Youtube. we love watching jackasses on the internet)
6. Wait, until you finally vomit. Try to avoid the car or small animals. (what is this, target practice?)
7. When finished vomiting, roll up the window. (salty/sour stuff helps. have a bloody mary)


This of course explains why humans are going to become stupid and eventually extinct. The only survivors may be the few lucky South Koreans and maybe the natives of the Brazilian rainforest. Everyone else will digest mush form the internet and their brain will become mush too. And of course, laptops are going to fry your balls.