Recently read in India and my take on them:
1. Touch free: so says the flush mechanism in the urinals. I could not help but wonder what if it said "Touch Freely". Not only employees, but everyone better wash their hands.
2. Lane discipline: This is but a fancy dream in any part of India, Kolkata makes it particularly remote. Why bother with lane markings? Instead I suggest "Discipline lane". This would involve a sturdy cane, a sadistic police force and a painful bum for undisciplined drivers.
3. Cock a snook: Someone once remarked to me that you will find certain archaic usages only in India like "suo moto". I am not sure even the Brits cock a snook at anything. I don't want to appear crass, but can't we cock a great many other things instead?
4. Noodle strap: apparently when in Asia, spaghetti is a big no. There was a furor in Bangalore about a threat to women who wear noodle straps and tight jeans. I agree. They should not wear these things, they should not wear anything of course. Nubile strip.
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