You of course know of the famous theory that "teenagers" are not really a demographic group. They are underdeveloped adults, are of no social use whatsoever, but are important to "marketers" and the "GDP" because of their propensity to fall for mindless campaigns and spend money they mooch off parents. I propose the death penalty for teenagers, and am working on some fine points, such as whether it is a viable option to beat them to death with their "portable music device", and whether having been annoyed for 30 minutes by the loud music from their speakers will be an effective insanity defense.
That digression aside, I take the rare step of emulating the annoying Cartman and advocating his tactics when he went on the rampage against hippies - when it comes to backpackers.
You know whom I am talking about. The two grungy girls that walked around the airport as I waited for my flight, who left in their wake the gut-wrenching stench of not only perennially unwashed clothes and bodies, but potentially having mastered the science of "scent gathering" (it's true - they do it on CSI :)). Or the matted-haired, tied-dyed morons who always clog up check-in counters, affecting blase naievete - and usually getting away with it. (Yes, race is always an issue, and a non-white person dressed or acting so, would likely be treated very differently) Or the way they swarm the "secret gem restaurant" or "unknown coffee shop" in a shared journey to achieve individuality. Misbehaving at every occasion with the knowledge that they can get away with it. And so on.
But mostly it comes down to personal hygiene. And one can at least forgive the teenagers among them, for the world is after all their (stinky) oyster as they learn the finer points of purchasing soap. But the older ones, who think carrying a backpack gives them a "get to be an unwashed, grungy, stupid teenager" card - what is wrong with these people? And how can they possibly have sex - they must, or how do you explain the mangy kids that they always seem to have in tow?
The mind boggles.
7 comments:
this foetus wholeheartedly agrees with your sentiments. particularly with regards to the obnoxious music-playing. they must die.
i propose some additions to your hit-list (though you are a man and may have priorities different from mine):
1. anyone who wears translucent leggings thereby giving me an eyeful of their fallopian tubes;
2. teenage girls who feel some inexplicable need to wear knee-high boots in singapore (this is a personal hygiene issue! think of all the stale sweat pooled in there!!); and
3. miley cyrus and her obnoxious gums.
i'm sure you agree!
warm regards,
puja-the (almost 25-year-old)-foetus :)
1. Where?!!
2. Yikes
3. Miley who?
I am kidding about 1 of course. Is Miley the thing that has led me to contemplate abducting my niece and putting her in a nunnery until she is 18, in the mountains of Sicily or Tibet? And why "gums"?
And, for the first time in months, someone used the phrase "different from", as opposed to "different than".
I declare my undying love for you.
google miley cyrus (at your own peril), and you will see what i mean. those gums have their own eco-system!
[addendum: please also add spoilt, rich expat kids to your hit-list. actually i lie. it's so much more satisfying to lay the verbal smackdown on them and watch them gibber and tear up teehee!]
YAY. i have found a kindred spirit. a fellow crusader against wanton grammar genocide! the world suddenly feels like a better place hahaha.
Ahem... Can I add a few more things to the hit-list? You can call me Benjamin Button.
1. Bitchy taxi drivers
2. Christian Evangelists
3. Idiot, Blind motorists
4. Racists
5. Shopkeepers who dog you when you’re browsing
6. People who put me through the spanish inquisition when I say I'm vegetarian.
7. Customer Service Answering Machine Voice-Over artists
8. Useless lingerie department attendents who will microscopically examine your *ahem*... this is too much information.
9. Stick thin people who bitch about being fat and losing ‘another ten kilos’
And Madhairday, the problem with the transluscent leggings is easily solved if you ask the women in question, "Oh my goodness, I think you've forgotten to put on pants."
I think it might traumatise them for life. If it dosen't, it will be entertaining to say the least.
;)
~deviousDiv
Please explain Button reference.
Today I met a charity drive peon. I asked him whether the drive was religious. Before he could say "yes, but" I moved on.
All proselytization is a crime against humanity and imperialist. Fight it!
Whoa, that is some list!
The one that ages upside down. (Is much older than she looks) :P
If that makes you feel better.
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